Author: Dardhcii

I wrestled for a very long time with the fact that my Dad hates me, I could not understand why he never bothers to pay me a visit. As, seconds rolled into minutes, and minutes rolled into hours, and hours rolled into days, my views about my family structure began to change. My views began to change because I had to confront reality, the whole Family burden rested totally on my mum.

She had to combine both motherly and fatherly role. Mum was the head and the neck at the same time. She had to make sure that the rent and other bills were paid on time. It became her role every night to be certain that the main door was secure before retiring to bed. All domestic problems became her sole responsibilities. She would not have been able to cope if not because of her family’s full support. I watched her as she struggled to hold it all together. I began to worry that someday she would have a nervous breakdown. Many times, while away from home, mostly at school, I could not escape the thought of something terrible happening to her.

Many times, at school, either in the classroom or playground I was constantly engulfed by terrible thoughts. I had thoughts like someone would show up and announce that my Mother had been rushed to the Hospital. At other times, my mind would wonder about receiving the news that my Mother is no more.

On my way home sometimes, I would imagine getting home and finding her sleeping peacefully – Dead. The thought of something terrible happening to her was way beyond frightening. I thought daily about the pain she was going through, the betrayal, and the disappointment, this made me love her more. On the other hand, I despise my father daily for escaping from his responsibilities.

There were times I thought he would turn up, most especially at the initial stage. After a while I concluded that being hopeful that he would return someday was just a fruitless hunt. Gradually I managed to push him to the back of my mind, he no longer mattered. He became a fairy tale. As time went by, life became normal after necessary adjustments were applied. I vowed I would never be like him.

What will be your first reaction if you find out that someone hates you?

Will you have anything against someone who hates you?

Do you hate people if yes, why?

Please leave a comment

 

 

Growing up, home enviroment for me was the same as it was for millions across the world. I had an absentee father, it wasn’t a case of him going to work in the morning and coming back late at night.

As far as I’m aware my parents never live under the same roof as husband and wife. I spent three weeks with my Dad which gave me an insight of the type of man he was.

Quite a character! A unique mix of short fuse hardly smiles and no-nonsense type. I recalled an incident whilst he was driving. Out of the blues came a Motor Cyclist that cuts right in front of him. Father veered sharply after him and the speedometer needle quickly rose to higher miles. My heart pounded heavily as I held on tightly to my seat.

He ended up crashing the car and the Motorcyclist disappeared into the night. We got out of the car, to say I was shocked by my father’s action would be an understatement. He was more interested in the damages to his shining metal than the welfare of his beloved son.

During my time with him apart from the incident witnessed, I could not gather much. I did not know what his beliefs were, what he stood for and what he was ready to die for.  I never knew his likes and dislikes; maybe he prefers golf to a football match. I never knew what kind of music he fancied, perhaps he prefers Parliament Funkadelic to the Beatles.

After staying with him, he only existed in a couple of pictures, in one of the pictures he was wearing a long coat, a glass and a hat. Apart from these photographs, the only time he came into the picture was through recycling stories. I was not sure if at any point my parents were ever happy during their relationship. I never came across pictures of them being together as a couple. I only saw them together on rare occasions and was too young to understand whatever transpired between them.

Despite my father not been there my mother never fail to live up to the expectations of motherhood cares. I admired her greatly for her soft and gentle nature, this has greatly helped in modelling me into a useful being. Mother was deeply committed to the Christian Principles which was instilled in me at a very tender age. Her motives and actions were constantly fostered by her Christian values. I have never lacked the necessities of life because of her commitment and her precious family. This helped me to cope with lack of fatherly love.

• Did you grow up with your Dad?
• If you did, not how did you cope
• Did you forgive me?

Please leave a comment about your background.