Author: Dardhcii

One of my friends is extremely upset because reality is not being nice to him. I do feel bad about his situation because my friend is one of the nicest people I have ever met. He is always ready to make sacrifices to make life bearable for others. He looks after families, friends and even strangers without giving it a second thought.

I am worried because people keep taking advantage of his generosity. He thinks because of his Christian beliefs, the door of his heart should be open to anyone who comes knocking. I only hope that in the future he will not cast his mind back and be filled with regrets and bitterness. I advised him to redefine his relationship with lots of people most especially his family members. The problem is because he has done this for so long making a change is proving extremely difficult.

This friend has a dream of building his own business and getting some support from people is pivotal to the success of the business. He gets in touch with people he is helped, and no one has volunteered to give him the necessary support. This is not a case of tit for tat; he extends a hand of help because he believes it is his duty. Whatever he does stems from the bottom of his heart with no string attached. To prove that this is not tit for tat, he is still extending a helping hand to one of the people who let him down.

I strongly believe in helping people in their times of need. I have helped lots of people in the past without any strings attached. My experience has taught me that it is indeed good to help people, but you should always look after yourself first. The reason I now have a different approach is because people take liberties. I am more selective now when it comes to helping people. I constantly check my feelings and emotions before total commitment. In most cases I offer help that I am sure will not affect me in a negative way. It is so weird how people take advantage of your kindness and loyalty.

I do not really blame people who will not even go the first mile not to talk about going the extra mile. Such people discover they are fools for helping and no longer want to be a fool. The solution is, I keep telling my Good Samaritan friend, to exercise caution while going the extra mile. There are people who still deserve being helped. We will all be helpless at some point or another and will need people to help us out.

He eventually gave up on the business he was trying to get off the ground. I learned as a Christian that you must indeed love men and trust God. If you love men and they let you down, you will be offended, if you trust men and they let you down it will be hurtful. Does this mean we should not trust anyone? We should with extra caution.

 

 

I was watching a movie some time ago and in this scene was a newly wed. The husband headed towards the front door and the way his wife descended the stairs, looking at her countenance one could tell that she was upset. The reason she was upset was because her new husband was not wearing his wedding ring. I have not only witnessed this in a movie, but also in the real world.

I’d spoken to some women about this and as usual the result was mixed feelings. I was not really bothered about the women who said they did not care. My concern was about women who claimed that, if the man was not wearing his band, the man was either planning to be unfaithful or perhaps he was already cheating.

If a married man left his house wearing his wedding band, is this a guarantee that he would be faithful? These women still insisted that the man must always have his wedding band on his finger. I believe that these women are living in an ideal world and not a real one.

It does not really make a difference if a man is wearing the band or not. The band has absolutely no power to stop him from breaking his covenant or keeping his marital vows. In the past, I would have supported these women who believe a man must have his wedding band on display while going out. An encounter about this gave me a clearer picture about the situation.

In the barber shop, I was having a haircut, my barber; a married man with two beautiful kids was on the phone. He was talking to a lady, after the telephone conversation he said, there were many women out there who were ready to be a willing participant to any Married man who was ready to play ball. Although I have always known that all needed was a willing participant, the only thing was I had never connected this to the wedding band syndrome.

This was the proof needed, to know that a man not wearing his wedding band is not a guarantee for faithfulness.  I listened to a preacher sometimes ago and he said there were two things about sin. He said, “there is temptation and there is invitation”. He said, “Temptation is something the devil puts before you that you don’t want to do”. “Invitation is something the devil puts before you that you really want to do.”

In conclusion one of the greatest teachers who ever lived said, being unfaithful was a matter of the heart, the physical part will only be the concluding aspect.