I wrestled for a very long time with the fact that my Dad hates me,
I could not understand why he never bothers to pay me a visit. As, seconds rolled into minutes, and minutes rolled into hours, and hours rolled into days, my views about my family structure began to change. My views began to change because I had to confront reality, the whole Family burden rested totally on my mum.
She had to combine both motherly and fatherly role. Mum was the head and the neck at the same time. She had to make sure that the rent and other bills were paid on time. It became her role every night to be certain that the main door was secure before retiring to bed. All domestic problems became her sole responsibilities. She would not have been able to cope if not because of her family’s full support. I watched her as she struggled to hold it all together. I began to worry that someday she would have a nervous breakdown. Many times, while away from home, mostly at school, I could not escape the thought of something terrible happening to her.
Many times, at school, either in the classroom or playground I was constantly engulfed by terrible thoughts. I had thoughts like someone would show up and announce that my Mother had been rushed to the Hospital. At other times, my mind would wonder about receiving the news that my Mother is no more.
On my way home sometimes, I would imagine getting home and finding her sleeping peacefully – Dead. The thought of something terrible happening to her was way beyond frightening. I thought daily about the pain she was going through, the betrayal, and the disappointment, this made me love her more. On the other hand, I despise my father daily for escaping from his responsibilities.
There were times I thought he would turn up, most especially at the initial stage. After a while I concluded that being hopeful that he would return someday was just a fruitless hunt. Gradually I managed to push him to the back of my mind, he no longer mattered. He became a fairy tale. As time went by, life became normal after necessary adjustments were applied. I vowed I would never be like him.
What will be your first reaction if you find out that someone hates you?
Will you have anything against someone who hates you?
Do you hate people if yes, why?
Please leave a comment