Month: January 2021

I was watching a movie some time ago and in this scene was a newly wed. The husband headed towards the front door and the way his wife descended the stairs, looking at her countenance one could tell that she was upset. The reason she was upset was because her new husband was not wearing his wedding ring. I have not only witnessed this in a movie, but also in the real world.

I’d spoken to some women about this and as usual the result was mixed feelings. I was not really bothered about the women who said they did not care. My concern was about women who claimed that, if the man was not wearing his band, the man was either planning to be unfaithful or perhaps he was already cheating.

If a married man left his house wearing his wedding band, is this a guarantee that he would be faithful? These women still insisted that the man must always have his wedding band on his finger. I believe that these women are living in an ideal world and not a real one.

It does not really make a difference if a man is wearing the band or not. The band has absolutely no power to stop him from breaking his covenant or keeping his marital vows. In the past, I would have supported these women who believe a man must have his wedding band on display while going out. An encounter about this gave me a clearer picture about the situation.

In the barber shop, I was having a haircut, my barber; a married man with two beautiful kids was on the phone. He was talking to a lady, after the telephone conversation he said, there were many women out there who were ready to be a willing participant to any Married man who was ready to play ball. Although I have always known that all needed was a willing participant, the only thing was I had never connected this to the wedding band syndrome.

This was the proof needed, to know that a man not wearing his wedding band is not a guarantee for faithfulness.  I listened to a preacher sometimes ago and he said there were two things about sin. He said, “there is temptation and there is invitation”. He said, “Temptation is something the devil puts before you that you don’t want to do”. “Invitation is something the devil puts before you that you really want to do.”

In conclusion one of the greatest teachers who ever lived said, being unfaithful was a matter of the heart, the physical part will only be the concluding aspect.

 

My mentor warned me from the onset that my dream must be worthwhile before starting the tedious journey of achieving them. He stated further that People who achieve their dreams are people who confronted the truth before taking off. I conducted research about people who were achieving their dreams and discovered that they became dogmatic and fought against all odds that stood in their way. Their sheer determination became their pillar of strength towards great achievements. The formula usually applies is, if I give up, then I might as well give up on life.

I heard from a reliable source that Bill gates started out in 1975 but the whole world did not get to know about him until 1995. It took him twenty years to get to where he is today. I wondered about the number of people worldwide who set out to pursue their dreams to make a difference in the world, but gave up within a few months because of an impediment. This is the reason my mentor stated that my dream must be worthwhile, if it is worthwhile, giving up will be a problem. Many who gave up on their dreams did so because their reasons were not strong enough.

On the other hand, I also found out that some dreams were worth giving up if you are not making headway. Research showed that many people no longer see walking down the aisle and making the vow of death do us part as a big deal.  Despite this, many are still getting married. I believe this was the dream of a guy whose story I read; his obsession probably showed that he had the intention of getting married someday. He saw a lady he liked so much, but like they always say it takes two to tango, he was in love and she was not.

He was determined to get her at all cost, but all effort was met with great rebuff. He became creative with words and started sending love letters, hoping to win her over. It was claimed that he sent hundreds of letters during the summertime and yet the lady could not be bothered. In conclusion the lady found love somewhere else and got married, she got married to the postman who kept delivering the love letters. It was pointless to keep pursuing a dream not worthwhile. This man should have given up after a reasonable attempt. It was never too late to give up on a dream that proved to be a time waster.

It was all about learning to strike a balance; if he was on the right path, it would have made sense to pursue forever and break forth someday.  Obsession occupies both sides of the same coin, on one side, it is a motivator towards living a fulfilled life. On the other side, it could prove to be destructive if employed for the wrong reasons, just like the case of the lover boy.