Month: January 2021

Discovering that we all have one thing or the other that we are all afraid off makes me happy that I am not the only one in the boat. I give up so many valuable things simply because I am afraid. I seek help from various sources to conquer fear and thank God, progress is tremendous.

Ralph Waldo Emerson’s statement is helping me a greatly to deal with fear. The statement reads: “Do the thing you fear, and the death of fear is certain.” The acronym for fear is, false evidence appearing real; it is quite amazing that this false evidence has its grip around many people worldwide.

The wisdom applies to dealing with fear is to think about the worst thing that could happen and conclude that the world will not come to an end. This attitude is quite helpful in overcoming fear.

A lot of people dread speaking in public. People prefer death compare to standing in front of an audience talking. This is all down to being afraid, why are people afraid of speaking in front of a crowd? They are afraid of saying the wrong thing because no one likes to be laughed at or make fun of, better still, no one want to look stupid in front of other people.

My friend has a speaking engagement and I tell him that I will be present, his face drops and he try to discourage me from attending the event. He is afraid, just like many because he believes any slips and he will be a laughing stock, especially from me. The real question is should it really matter if he becomes a laughingstock or not? Doing what he intends to do should be his focus.

The major reason behind the fear of public speaking and other things is humiliation. Humiliation makes us feel bad; an upcoming speaker walks out of the auditorium while delivering his speech to boost his confidence. Fear grips him, he becomes paralysed and could not figure out how to get back into the room.

Jim Rohn says: “Repetition is the mother of learning.” I will say if being humiliated, laugh at, make fun of will all contribute to the death of fear then it is worth it. I know at some stage in my career, I will have to stand in front of people to give a speech. I learnt that most become nervous when standing in front of people because they stop breathing. If you stop breathing, you become tense and will reflect in your voice straight away. I am practicing how to take a deep breath regularly now even when talking to someone or a few groups.

I am not sure if this statement is 1000 percent true that there are only two natural fears in life. The fear of height and loud noises, if this is the truth, it is nothing but good news. Let fear be your servant, and not your master.

 

 

One of my friends is extremely upset because reality is not being nice to him. I do feel bad about his situation because my friend is one of the nicest people I have ever met. He is always ready to make sacrifices to make life bearable for others. He looks after families, friends and even strangers without giving it a second thought.

I am worried because people keep taking advantage of his generosity. He thinks because of his Christian beliefs, the door of his heart should be open to anyone who comes knocking. I only hope that in the future he will not cast his mind back and be filled with regrets and bitterness. I advised him to redefine his relationship with lots of people most especially his family members. The problem is because he has done this for so long making a change is proving extremely difficult.

This friend has a dream of building his own business and getting some support from people is pivotal to the success of the business. He gets in touch with people he is helped, and no one has volunteered to give him the necessary support. This is not a case of tit for tat; he extends a hand of help because he believes it is his duty. Whatever he does stems from the bottom of his heart with no string attached. To prove that this is not tit for tat, he is still extending a helping hand to one of the people who let him down.

I strongly believe in helping people in their times of need. I have helped lots of people in the past without any strings attached. My experience has taught me that it is indeed good to help people, but you should always look after yourself first. The reason I now have a different approach is because people take liberties. I am more selective now when it comes to helping people. I constantly check my feelings and emotions before total commitment. In most cases I offer help that I am sure will not affect me in a negative way. It is so weird how people take advantage of your kindness and loyalty.

I do not really blame people who will not even go the first mile not to talk about going the extra mile. Such people discover they are fools for helping and no longer want to be a fool. The solution is, I keep telling my Good Samaritan friend, to exercise caution while going the extra mile. There are people who still deserve being helped. We will all be helpless at some point or another and will need people to help us out.

He eventually gave up on the business he was trying to get off the ground. I learned as a Christian that you must indeed love men and trust God. If you love men and they let you down, you will be offended, if you trust men and they let you down it will be hurtful. Does this mean we should not trust anyone? We should with extra caution.