Coping with the lack of Fatherly Love

Growing up, home enviroment for me was the same as it was for millions across the world. I had an absentee father, it wasn’t a case of him going to work in the morning and coming back late at night.

As far as I’m aware my parents never live under the same roof as husband and wife. I spent three weeks with my Dad which gave me an insight of the type of man he was.

Quite a character! A unique mix of short fuse hardly smiles and no-nonsense type. I recalled an incident whilst he was driving. Out of the blues came a Motor Cyclist that cuts right in front of him. Father veered sharply after him and the speedometer needle quickly rose to higher miles. My heart pounded heavily as I held on tightly to my seat.

He ended up crashing the car and the Motorcyclist disappeared into the night. We got out of the car, to say I was shocked by my father’s action would be an understatement. He was more interested in the damages to his shining metal than the welfare of his beloved son.

During my time with him apart from the incident witnessed, I could not gather much. I did not know what his beliefs were, what he stood for and what he was ready to die for.  I never knew his likes and dislikes; maybe he prefers golf to a football match. I never knew what kind of music he fancied, perhaps he prefers Parliament Funkadelic to the Beatles.

After staying with him, he only existed in a couple of pictures, in one of the pictures he was wearing a long coat, a glass and a hat. Apart from these photographs, the only time he came into the picture was through recycling stories. I was not sure if at any point my parents were ever happy during their relationship. I never came across pictures of them being together as a couple. I only saw them together on rare occasions and was too young to understand whatever transpired between them.

Despite my father not been there my mother never fail to live up to the expectations of motherhood cares. I admired her greatly for her soft and gentle nature, this has greatly helped in modelling me into a useful being. Mother was deeply committed to the Christian Principles which was instilled in me at a very tender age. Her motives and actions were constantly fostered by her Christian values. I have never lacked the necessities of life because of her commitment and her precious family. This helped me to cope with lack of fatherly love.

  • Did you grow up with your Dad?
  • If you did, not how did you cope
  • Did you forgive me?

Please leave a comment about your background.

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